How to Know if You’re in a Toxic Relationship
Nathan Perkins • June 19, 2020
Toxic Relationships – Five Signs
No one wants to be in an abusive relationship, but not everyone can tell whether their current relationship is still healthy. Sometimes, no matter how often your family or friends tell you, you do not notice it.
It’s not only physical abuse we are talking about here. Abuse comes in many forms. There is emotional abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse too. Any experiences falling under these categories can create a toxic relationship.
If you have doubts, and you often ask the question “Am I in a toxic relationship?”, maybe you are in one.
Read on to learn the signs you need help:
1. Long-term negativity
Everyone can have a bad day. When your partner is feeling sad, it is normal for them to seek your presence and help. However, everything that is excessive is never healthy. When their sad days tend to never end, and you see no sign of them trying to help themselves, that is one unhealthy sign.
Being happy requires effort too, and your partner cannot always rely on you for support. They need to find their will and happiness on their own. Moreover, too much of a person’s negativity can also affect your mood. If your relationship ends up with you two not having any good days anymore, maybe it is time to rethink your relationship.
2. Unhealthy jealousy
Feeling jealous over someone while in a relationship is normal. Everyone goes through that phase, but being obsessed with it or being passive-aggressive about it is not helpful. Here are some toxic things couples do that you should be aware of:
- Checking your phone, social media, and email behind your back
- Asking what you are doing and who you are with every time
- Quietly or indirectly punishing you for something you did not know you did
- Asking you to change who you are
- Blaming you for their jealousy
If your partner has been doing any of these things, your partner has jealous passive-aggressive behavior, this is a toxic behavior pattern you should watch out for and address.
3. “I am not the problem” thinking
All couples get into a fight, and sometimes owning up to problems can be difficult. We all have egos and pride to protect, but owning a mistake is always the first step toward finding a resolution.
If your partner never learns to accept that they also have a fault, your relationship will never grow. There is a chance you will avoid confrontation or avoid the problem until it becomes huge and difficult to resolve anymore.
In a healthy relationship, partners do not always blame their partners. They know when to speak up, but they also know when to admit their mistakes. A stagnant relationship is not healthy and beneficial at all.
4. Too much control
Your partner checking up on you when going out is a sweet gesture, but repeatedly asking for all the details of where you are going, who you are with, telling you what to wear or eat, and asking to report what you talked about are too much. Your partner controlling every detail in your life is never sweet at all. It is a toxic behavior that should not be tolerated.
Here are the other signs that your partner is controlling in a not-so-healthy way:
- Making your family and friends feel uncomfortable
- Not allowing you to enjoy your time on your own
- Making you feel guilty of doing things you love
Control can manifest in different ways, so you must learn its difference from actual care.
5. A hint of character assassination
Character assassination refers to the intentional effort to harm someone’s reputation. This behavior is often observed between siblings when they try to connect. However, when this trait is brought up to adulthood, it can be emotionally harmful, especially when brought into a relationship.
Your partner may say words or do things that may hurt you. Even if they unintentionally do it, as long as you feel like it takes away your self-worth, it can bring damage to your relationship.
Two people come together because they want to create a loving, healthy relationship. It involves growing, learning, and healing together, among other things. When things get out of hand, such as experiencing any of the signs above, it can turn a healthy relationship into a toxic one. Any abusive relationship will make it difficult for both members to grow and be happy.
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